Fay

There’s a ringing in my ear

More like a call of chimes

Dancing closely cheerful

Louder and louder they sing

Faster and faster they spin

Then suddenly, slowly

Silence befalls

Where did they go?

Who said? I say

Who said there are "rules" to follow?
Who said that you must confine to expectation?
Who said the grass is always greener on the other side?
Who said there is a right from wrong?
Who said we must be approved?
Who said looks are everything?
Who said money is what makes life?
Who said love isn't all it takes?
Who said?

I say break rules
I say fuck expectation
I say my grass is just fine the way it is
I say all my wrongs are usually right
I say approval is in the eye of the beholder
I say I am a canvas of many beautiful things
I say money ruins authenticity
I say love conquers all and makes us stronger
I say
What I say

imagine nation

am i arresting myself from my mind?
chaining myself to the routine
a barbed wire wall growing day by day
a facade of what i can grasp
falling through my thoughts like sand

i am not on repeat
when did my shuffle end
is it time i update my playlist
is it time to just play
lists are conforming
daily tasks of the do this
do that cuz if its not done
there is always tomorrow
but tomorrow is today

i am my today my tomorrow
my always
imagine nation
one soldier
me

The Future: a Creation, Not a Circumstance

The future might seem to some a figure of their imagination, a speck of light at the end of a tunnel, or something that is in the hands of a higher being. To me, the future means finding my place in the world, establishing my career, and living my life. As soon as I leave CCHS, my future involves college, graduate school, possibly working at a zoo, and possibly involved in a steady relationship. During my twenties, I want to be focused on school and establishing my self as a Zoologist. I hope to be studying at UC Davis, where I plan to receive my Masters in Zoology and working for an Aquarium. In my thirties, I hope to have a family, living in either San Francisco or Los Angeles, and continuing my work helping innocent marine animals. My friends from high school will still be in my life, as we all begin growing old together. More than likely, all of my girls will have started families, as I will be the only one not having kids. I do, however, want to have them, just not so early in my life. As a zoologist, my work will involve long hours and fieldwork in many different countries, so starting à family isn't the best. Hopefully, I will be traveling around the world, helping to bring animals out of endangerment. Through my forties, I will more than likely have ended my career working as a zoologist and focusing more on veterinary medicine. During this time, I will also hope to be working on my art, painting, sketching, and making ceramics. I will also want to be involved with various car clubs, designing paint schemes for the exterior, and palettes for the interior. Beyond my forties, my life possibly involves relaxing and finally being able to take my life into my own hands and watching my family grow. During this time, I will be focusing on my art and my family. Though my future may seem a bit dull, as long as have done what I came here to do, I will be more than happy. Who knows, maybe my life will turn out to be something I didn't see or plan.

Tainted Love

a needed escape
a trusted mind rape
in a cloudy haze
fallin for your lip
catch me before i slip

i just wanted you to know
that baby you're the best
leave me with a kiss
and lay me to rest

here i go again
losing another friend
climbing up from the end
breaking my heart
scars left to mend

i just wanted you to know
that baby you're the best
leave me with a kiss
and lay me to rest

sticks and i am stoned
words can hurt you
dreaming in purple and blue
bruised memories gone black
like sleeping beauty
bring me back

i just wanted you to know
that baby you're the best
leave me with a kiss
and lay me to rest

baby you're the best
leave me with a kiss
and lay me to rest

In you I gave my all

In the darkest hour of night

Iridescent rays of light

Implode my mysteries

Infinite in history

If examined

Is all but famine

Intricacies of a webbed mind

I have lost what was mine

Instilled in my heart

Inescapable never apart

Infants we once were

Intimacies now a blur

If all I will have is love

Infest me with it from above

Messages

Twas a night unlike any other

The wind began to make the house shutter

A chill came across so dead and haunting

Not a soul alive should witness such a feeling

The candle flickered

The flame became wicked

As if laughing at what was to come

Every bone becoming numb

A vile of Bella Donna in my hand

I take a little to calm when

A voice whispers in my ear

So soft and unclear

Dear saddened soul

Why must you cry

A heart left not whole

Will eventually die

Let go of the past

For those who have passed

Are watching from above

Feel their praise and love

Live each day as if it will end

For soon you will see them again