Self Conscious

I'm on the brink of tears
Letting my fears of unaccepted intimacy cry out
Believing in living with this facade of beauty
Stark images of disgust rain down my eyes
I am what he despised
Never feeling the same as before
As he held me and kissed me up against the door
Now it's routine and droll
Why can't I be his baby doll
Vulnerable to his desires of a new me
Thinking as if this is really not meant to be
I want it I crave it
But does he feel the same
Driving down this never ending lane
Vain in my thoughts and perception of what should be
So why isn't it
Why am I not the same as before
Is that what he fell in love with at first sight of my car door
Is he still in love even though I am not that anymore
Questioning my being as I've always done
I thought these feelings were gone
Just as he walked into my heart
I believed we would never part
Yet here I am with fear in the dark
All I would like is to be better than we were
To be one happy life forever more
If only he felt the same
I wouldn't sit here feeling insane
Please God make him see the light
That I am more than greatness
I am his life

Smolly

In a moment we had to part
Yet we feel you here
you are still not gone
for you will always be near
your home is in our hearts
relax it's going to be okay
you've conquered our world
now it's time to play
we will take on what life
you needed to offer
hold us in your memories dear brother
now it is time to open your wings
and take flight into the night
with God you sore above
Find within you peace and love
We may not see you now
But someday we'll meet again
See you later Buddy
Ride on until then

Wonderland

An adventure in the mysterious

White and Monochrome

A love, cutting edge and fun

Murders, challenging holes

Beautiful waterfalls

Scenic landscape

Alice and her zany friends

Icy winter

Nocturnal first time

Rumors have begun

Gaggle

Pick pocket red rocket find a shoe ocean blue sing a tune buy a balloon ring rain loopy brain hole mole street pole jack snack happy sack puppy paw stupid law green spleen pumping machine sand hand blind man sock jock flip flop mind sign wet sweat

Nightmare on Adams and Hauser

Gunshots heard blocks

                        Away

You duck with fear

            Of being

                        Hit

Slide beside

The first car in front of

            You

Run

Before they can spot

            You as their unknown enemy

                                    Color

Is all they see

Blood

            Dripping

                        Down

                                    Your

                                                Face

                                                                        Red

            You should have had blue blood

            Cold and heartless

                                    Just like them

Moments in Chemo

Tick, Tick, Tick...

It continues

That needle

Piercing my black and blue arms

I feel everything

The numbness in my leg

The tingle of every injection

 The blood drops that cry out from open wounds

Every heart beat makes a beep on the monitor

In me, its as if someone is pounding out

Whatever life i have left

More fluids leave this withered body

Just a few more treatments and I'll be free

Free from what?

I am shackled in this prison

No one can save me

I am done

Love and Paradise

Looking over the shining moonbeam

Staring into Fairy Paradise

Our star stricken souls become one under the light

The flowers dream

Tears of dew cascading down their faces

They hum a lullaby tune of serenity and love

The leaves spiraling around us

The breeze rippling our shadows cast upon the lake

 Here we discover our love within the darkness of the forest

For it is here, where we lost our sorrows

Where night hid behind day’s shadow

In the cloudy sky

They’ve left us the marital crowns

Built upon roses of deep maroon and gold
Passion gives way to our hearts beating as one

Blood flowing together like waterfalls of love

Silent is the world around us

Strange feelings come across us

We are now one together

Hidden in the woods 

Along the crashing waves of the sea below

I vow to hold you now as you are

As you will become

Forever as one